Life After Love (Unfinished)

Many lessons I take from this broke up.
It's hard to admit that I've completely forgotten about him.
Every time they always crossed in my mind that hurt me so much.
The one i love having an affair with another woman.
And I think they deserve my hate.
Many things I have to keep secret, the reason why I hardly to forgive them.
Let's just me and God knows.
Possible to forgive and let them together would be easier as time goes by.
The most difficult part is to forgive myself.
Why I have to love him too much, believed to all his promise, thus giving him all my life.
Honestly, when I lose it is not actually lose him, but fall out of love, trust, caring, friend to rely on, a shoulder to cry on, the pouring of anger, happiness, even lost myself.

Don’t ever want to make the one you love your everything, because when his gone, you’ll have nothing.

My friend said : everyone ever being cheated, just think that it's time for you.
So, like smallpox, everyone must have experienced.
Okay .. so unfair that it would, because smallpox was only once in a lifetime, and when i was child I've experienced it.
And now it happen on me again? Sucks! 

You know what sucks? Realizing that everything you believe in is complete and utter bulshit. -Tom Hansen-

I do not know whether the future will be easy to open my hearts for another man.
This makes my confidence down drastically. My self esteem is drowning. 
From the middle, is now very low.
I knew I was not pretty enough, so he chosed the more beautiful.
I know my job is so ordinary, not challenging, then he chosed who worked in the finance ministry.
The point I was a nobody compared to his new woman.
Although I feel I am more fortunate because I am separated from my ex's.
Hey lady, if you want to grab someone's boyfriends, pick a good ones? Uuupppss 
NO OFFENSE :)
 
I GIVE UP! 
Actually more toward the loss of hope, loss of dreams. 
No more hoping that someone would love me again sincerely.
I'm not pretty, short, not rich, my jobs is flat, and i am really annoying. 
I don't believe love anymore. It doesn't exist for me.

Don't worry, i still have the passion of life.
Because life is not merely a matter of getting a life partner.
I believe in fate, to God.
Someday when the time had come, God will bring me to the right man, in the right place, in the right time.
Probably not the best, because I'm also not a good girl.
But whatever it is, not about what I desire, but what You desire, my Lord. I'm Yours. 
I just move on, because my story is not over here.....
Fin.

 Sincerely, my brokenhearted.