what's wrong with me?

 a chit chat while waiting for choir practice at Sint Mathias last friday.

Me : tadi kamu sama siapa ke sini?
Christin : dianter sodara mba..kalo mba?
Me : sendiri, naik angkot.
Christin : ga dianter pacar mba?
Me : aku ga punya pacar dek.
Christin : masa mba ga punya pacar?
Me : lah kamu ga percaya?
Christin : engga....
Me : smile (Sigh...)

talk to my self : not even you do not believe it, I do not believe it too that I did not have a boyfriend.

Su*ks!

One Day in Your Life (Tidung Island)

Saturday, July 16, 2011

We gathered at Port area waiting for someone who will be our tour guide. Then he is Mas Mayong.
After that he delivered us to our homestay. According to friends, homestay images sent via email was not the same as the homestay that we will live for.
But no problem because I think we were quite comfortable homestay.  Its shaped like a regular house, with 2 bedrooms and there is air conditioned, TV, 2 bathrooms, prayer room and kitchen, and the well for bonus. LOL. Actually, we supposed to do snorkeling but Mas Mayong said that the snorkeling was delayed in the morning because this afternoon snokling equipment was wear out, due to its full of visitors.
Finally we agreed to ride bycicle together and hunting spots to see the sunset at the Bridge of  Love (Jembatan Cinta). Lunch we were eat just like home cooking, Sayur Asem and Mujahir fried, plus chili and crackers (kerupuk). It feels pretty good, but the portions are very less for the 13 people who 8 of them were men. Sigh. LOL.

Suggestion : bring the bread since in the morning we have no breakfast and for the lunch I am not sure it will be enough to satisfied your "hungry" :D

As we were relaxing, our tour guide came and told us that the snorkeling will be held this afternoon. Immediately we were all getting ready, the important thing is to wear sunblock. The most sacred of goods during the Tidung Island. Remember SUNBLOCK!
Once all was ready we headed to the place of snorkeling equipment rental, we chose goggles and frog legs to the size pre-booked. After all got each tool, we then headed for the dock. Apparently after the dock, we have to wait long for another group that also joined our ship, they was late. One more disappointing point from our tour service. Always late.
After they came, the board immediately start to reach the snorkeling area, it took about 15 minutes from the Tidung Island.
Then finally, we had snorkeling.

For me, it was my first time to do snorkeling. It was very ridiculous. Seriously, what do you expect for someone can not swim, scare of deep and vast ocean. Yes, Me and My Fears.
But I really enjoyed those memorable moment. We all laughed, we swam, we cared each other, we together.

Cuz I just swam near the board, i didn't know how it was look. But my friends that ever doing snorkeling before said that there was not enough beautiful to snorkeling. Less of fish, just an ordinary fish. Corals that are not too good. Far from our imagined.
Unfortunately, we just had one spot to explore, the sun was getting high, so we had to hurry to visit sunset spot, Bridge of Love.

Sugesstion : Before snorkeling do not forget to apply your sunblock and do it again after finishing snorkeling. There was seem not to hot in the water, but it still burned.

Tidung island is famous for its Bridge of Love, its length may reach 500 meters. There is a spot where we can jump into the sea, it is only 7 feet high, but looks scary. I forgot who was exactly jump in, I remembered Ajeng, Nunik, Aziva, and Aik. How about me? Don't ask!

Fikri Rosano Arrachman

Tidung Island consists of two islands, the larger and the smaller. I don't know its name in English, Pulau Tidung Besar where we lived it, and Pulau Tidung Kecil which is where the cultivation of mangroves.
To reach Pulau Tidung Kecil we have to cross the bridge, walked for about 15 minutes or less.
Honestly, Pulau Tidung Kecil is not kind of beautiful island in my mind. Dirty. Dirty sand, and its water also. The long journey that ultimately are not satisfied after tiring walk.
But, the worst is the sunset. Oh my, it was ordinary sunset. Much different from what we saw in Bali. Dissapointing moment.

Faisal Ardi Photograph.

In the evening we were getting ready to barbeque time on the beach.
For dinner we had Soup and Fried Chicken, still with chilli and Crackers, but actually, our luch dish was taste better than this.
Once more, Mas Mayong came late. It was 8 o'clock when we went to the beach.
The spot was not comfortable because very dark. But never mind, we faced the ocean.
Was it romantic when it is saturday nite, wasn't?
While Mas Mayong grilled the fish, we stared the stars, argued about "kapal pesiar atau kandang ayam". LOL. Weird conversation among us. And some too busy to take a photograph.
In my opinion, about our tourguide, he is kind of people that can not get angry. Even we always complaining him. He is kind, I had felt guilty too, cuz we like ignoring him.
Patiently, He grilled fish for us, we didn't help him but just asking when the fish ready to eat. We feel so sorry mas :))
Unfortunately I do not have any pictures of Mas Mayong. Mas Mayong who loves to live in Tidung Island, never complaining about his job. Kind of Great Man.

Moral Message : Respect others who helping you much! :)

That Saturday night was a beautiful night in the end. There was a fireworks show from others visitor.
I always love fireworks, glow in the dark. Thank God I enjoyed this moment with many friends who cares for each other, I think :).
Thank for let me joining this fun travelling. I will never forget you all.

Cause baby you're a firework. Come on, show 'em what you're worth. Make 'em go "Oh, oh, oh" As you shoot across the sky. (Katy Perry - Firework)

Faisal Ardi

Fikri Rosano Arrachman

 Thanks for Fireworks!

Pursuit of Happiness (Tidung Island)

About 2 weeks ago, I was on vacation to The Tidung Island.
 I've long been planning to go to there which is part of the cluster of the Thousand Islands.
 Fortunately, my high school friend, Ajeng, want to go there with her friends. 
I ask her soon to joining their travelling. 
With only IDR 250,000,00, we can take a two day and one night enjoying the place. 
And then my pursuit of happines begins ;)



Saturday, July 16, 2011  
To reach Tidung Island, we had boarded the boat from the Port of Muara Angke.

Information :  The participants normally required to gathered in the harbor at 6:00 o'clock and most late at 07:00 o'clock.

My starting point is from Senen Bus Station. Public transportation that we were riding is Kopami 02, Senen - Muara Karang. The last stop is just at Muara Karang, to continue our journey to Muara Angke, we have to use KWK 01. As a notice, on weekend, Muara Angke extremely crowded conditions, moreover Muara Angke is also the famous Fish Market in Jakarta. Can be ensured from the front gate Muara Angke there will be held traffic jam. Our car should stop riding right on the Muara Angke Gas Station, because The Port are located just behind the Gas Station. Eventually we had to walk from front gate to the Port Entrance.

Suggestions : Wear flip-flops or ordinary sandals, because Muara Angke condition is very muddy and dirty. Yak!

Because most of our friends are not come from Jakarta, we had agreed to meet at the Gas Station. The situation at the Gas Station was very crowded, a friend make a joke which said that it's like everybody want to watch Wali Band Concert. LOL!

Suggestions : Do not drink too much, because if you want to pee, toilet queues at Gas Station just as the queue groceries. Fiufff!

We seek immediately the Committee of the Tour that we use, the service was very disappointing.
My friend, Aziva, as the group leader has been transferred the down payment for us, but the committee has not been recorded, but Thanks God, fortunately we can still go.
We waited long enough at the Gas Station until finally we were commanded to to boat.
The condition of the boat is have 2 level, a medium-sized, quite scary because such a small boat ride over fifty person.
And the Life Jacket is not enough for the passengers that much. Sigh.
After looking for good positions in the boat, it turns out we had to wait quite a while before the boat departed.
From the schedule we were supposed to depart at 7:00 o'clock, but we went at 9:00 o'clock.

Suggestion : Do not sit at the top of the boat if you not brave enough and scare about being burned. It's very windy and exposed to direct sun exposure. Very HOT!

To reach Tidung Island it takes about 3 hours.
Fortunately the condition is not high waves and wind is not too tight.
On the way, most of the passengers just rested and slept.
At about 12 o'clock, we got at Tidung Island Port.

We surely capture the moment with took a picture under the gate of  Tidung Island. 

Suggestions : Tidung is very hot, when in the ship you have to use Sunblock before, and do not forget to wear hats, use umbrella is well allowed ;))

Want to know what excitement we experienced on Tidung Island ? 
Look forward to my next blog, chao :))

Life After Love (Unfinished)

Many lessons I take from this broke up.
It's hard to admit that I've completely forgotten about him.
Every time they always crossed in my mind that hurt me so much.
The one i love having an affair with another woman.
And I think they deserve my hate.
Many things I have to keep secret, the reason why I hardly to forgive them.
Let's just me and God knows.
Possible to forgive and let them together would be easier as time goes by.
The most difficult part is to forgive myself.
Why I have to love him too much, believed to all his promise, thus giving him all my life.
Honestly, when I lose it is not actually lose him, but fall out of love, trust, caring, friend to rely on, a shoulder to cry on, the pouring of anger, happiness, even lost myself.

Don’t ever want to make the one you love your everything, because when his gone, you’ll have nothing.

My friend said : everyone ever being cheated, just think that it's time for you.
So, like smallpox, everyone must have experienced.
Okay .. so unfair that it would, because smallpox was only once in a lifetime, and when i was child I've experienced it.
And now it happen on me again? Sucks! 

You know what sucks? Realizing that everything you believe in is complete and utter bulshit. -Tom Hansen-

I do not know whether the future will be easy to open my hearts for another man.
This makes my confidence down drastically. My self esteem is drowning. 
From the middle, is now very low.
I knew I was not pretty enough, so he chosed the more beautiful.
I know my job is so ordinary, not challenging, then he chosed who worked in the finance ministry.
The point I was a nobody compared to his new woman.
Although I feel I am more fortunate because I am separated from my ex's.
Hey lady, if you want to grab someone's boyfriends, pick a good ones? Uuupppss 
NO OFFENSE :)
 
I GIVE UP! 
Actually more toward the loss of hope, loss of dreams. 
No more hoping that someone would love me again sincerely.
I'm not pretty, short, not rich, my jobs is flat, and i am really annoying. 
I don't believe love anymore. It doesn't exist for me.

Don't worry, i still have the passion of life.
Because life is not merely a matter of getting a life partner.
I believe in fate, to God.
Someday when the time had come, God will bring me to the right man, in the right place, in the right time.
Probably not the best, because I'm also not a good girl.
But whatever it is, not about what I desire, but what You desire, my Lord. I'm Yours. 
I just move on, because my story is not over here.....
Fin.

 Sincerely, my brokenhearted.

moral lesson of today :)

That's why i bring my mirror everywhere i go.

To reminds me so that i don't dream to high, not to hope beyond reality.

Be a realistic one.

Life After Love (The Sequel)

It has been over a month since i got to break up, but my heart is still hurt.
Thank God my appetite is back, almost 2 weeks after that, I was hard to eat.
Everything is a mess, especially my life.
What can I do to survive is to share everything with God.
Ask for strength so that I could be sincere heart, forgive them, and do not hate them.
Being cheated it is never run easy.
Moreover, everyone is blaming me, not them.
Everytime I remembered how mean they are, I always pray : Dear Lord strengthened me, please my heart, get rid of hatred in my heart.
And now, I started to arrange my life back, especially my heart.
I should not be constantly thinking about people who do not even think about me anymore.
I have to get up, be a new soul, new person.
Assuming this tragedy as a lesson.
That everyone must have their own problems and the most important is how we attempt to get through this.
Since I have always believed, that the storm would pass.
Fortunately after those bad dream, I would have a lot of new friends.
I've got travelling to The Thousand Islands, along with my high school friends and some new friends.
I also have a plan to travel going on holiday with them again to Bandung in September.
I'd joined the church choir as well, the thing has been my dream.
I began to set a new priority in my life.
I pray that this year can joining Legal Drafter Training from my Office.
And hopefully next year there are opportunities to get a scholarship to go abroad.
There was no denying the gadget also helped me to run out from loneliness and sadness.  
Blackberry, a genius invention. Hehe.  
Thanks also to my friend who was willing to buy, while this. Haha

But the hardest part is to open my heart to a guy, my next mate.  
I do not know. It was hard trying to believe in a man after this silly tragedy. 
I do not know. I just don't know why.


Sincerely, my brokenhearted.

Life After Love (Part 1)

It's not easy to describe what's my heart feels at this time.
Sad, confused, upset, troubled, distracted, but from outside I wanted to look tough.
I do not know why we could end up like this.
From the beginning I've given all my love, but ends with his betrayal.
Many things I have to keep it myself, this makes the situation more difficult.
I let him go, but honestly I hated the woman who stole his love from me.
I'd lost his love, not the person.
I'd lost the one to talked to, rather than his physical.
But I can't go on like this, fall too deep into sin that I've did.
God is still punishing me, I am well aware of it, but I must be strong through it.
I've lost, and then the Lord calls me home.
I realize when I came home, things will never be the same again, everythings has change!
Many things are regretted, a lot of time wasted, and many wounds are scratched.
But I just want to go home, because in God's house, I feel safe.
I'll try not to go anymore from you Jesus, because You love me more than anyone.
My life in Your hand, in Your plan. 
Everything will be beautiful in His time.

Sincerely, my brokenhearted.